Let me hear you call my name.
More than words.
You know you love me, too.
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Monday, June 01, 2009
BIG CONFESSION ...okay .. here it goes .. i have a awful life that's what i thought at first . i didn't know when/what went wrong . until, i realized it was jealousy . not envy, but jealously . it really can kill me, my life . maybe it all started since i was in secondary one . during my primary school days, i was living in so called " cool days " but still running around playing games called " virus " with my class . it was fun . didnt care, or whatever shit . but when i entered a secondary life, everything changed . i became more observant to my surroundings . is like one giant person shrink into a dwarf . able to see what below all about, as known as reality . which means during my primary school's life, im been living in my world . slowly, i seldom talk . i don't know why . is like having conversation with somebody disappeared in my mind . i don't know use what topic to talk to people . but i want to talk . i really do .. i felt lost . and slowly, i saw people, having conversation with others its like , they have no difficulty by talking with one another . playing with others , telling jokes , blah blah blah . i was envy . over years , which is 1 or 2 years , it gradually changed to jealousy . not just having conversation with others, also include people with the looks, intelligent, wealth, fame, love . is like, they are having almost a perfect life . yeah, i admit, im jealous . really jealous . but to them, is not . not perfect life at all . they called it " close to average " and there's one day .. jealousy turns to hatred . hatred .. is like hating someone and felt like running away from the situation . running towards my home, and tucked myself into bed . but after i woke up from my sleep, everything went normal . i felt normal . no jealousy or hatred . just neutral . during tat whole process, it's called mood swing , well, most people called it . that's the reason why i became so called " emo " at certain days emo .. but there's no such thing -.- dictionary doesnt says it's meaning . u can go check by going to www.dictionary.com okay, maybe most of people know tat meaning, but not for me . no offence . i just saying what i know . anyway, let's continue what i said just now , that's the reason why i became withdrawn at certain days . depend on the situation .. from then onwards, more and more days i became more and more withdrawn . and today .. i shall tell my jealousy to back off . i don't want to be jealous anymore . jealously back off ! i don't want you anymore, u made me think so pessimistic my days turned gloomy because of your existence in my life . well, i shall try my best .. i want to have a good life . i want to communicate with others i want to live my life to the fullest . cause one day .. i might be gone . because life is fragile . okay ! i confess one of my stuff already , must be honored that u are able to know what going on in my mind that's part of it . today is GCE O level mother tongue paper . include paper one and paper two . yesterday night, i iron my uniform and packed my bag . and i overslept today ._. woke up at about 6.40am ~ 6.50am . didnt had my morning bathe -.- that's why i felt sticky for the whole day . anyway, took taxi to school . dam crappy, tat taxi got bee -.- it cling into my shoe ! D: got off the taxi, and i quickly step on it . and it died D: im really sorry ! i step you because i dun want to have any side effect after you sting me during the o level paper D: if u sting me, i might have itchyness or etc, might not be able to concentrate my paper D: so, im really sorry for your death . okay .. had chinese O level paper . got one teacher, give attitude . D: he just throw my IC onto the table . he did to the people in my row too . den after the paper, snatch it -.- what is wrong with you ? paper 1 was tough .. most of the words tat i think of , it needs the dictionary there's 4 words, chengyu . i just type into the dictionary, and it really came out ! O: neither do i expect it really can do tat . man, technology is getting too advance . lol . paper 2 was easy BUT i don't know use what words to use , and also, i don't know how to write . hence, my chinese might fail again .. -sigh- went home after the paper . ate butter bread with sugar ! :D it's really delicious . love it love it love it ! ;D den watched anime . lol, i know, im still young . ;D therefore, i still can watch . |
Goodbye.
Benjamin
Charmaine
Claudia
Dominic
Dragon
Edwin
Eugin
Gene
Gwenda
Hui Min
Kristina
Li Jing
Li Yun
Liza
Pei Yi
Randy
Shi Jie
Shu Yi
Syafiqah
Teck Chin
Wei Ning
Weng Kin
Xin Ying
Yin Tong
Yun Qing
Zoe
2e5'07
3e3'08
Hillgrove Band
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